| I'll wait here and wish for a gorgeous disaster to happen |
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[06 Nov 2004|03:22pm] |
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punchline-heart transplant |
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i got a new journal bitches....empty_heartsxX so ass me and ill add you, this one is retiring as of now
even a heart transplant wouldnt show you how i feel now<3
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[01 Nov 2004|06:56pm] |
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saves the day-jodie |
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can i just say oh my fucking god....that health movie is the saddest movie i have ever watched.
i almost flippin cried today in health, yes thats right im that pathetic that i almost cried. it was horrible. ahhh poor conrad.i spent the rest of the day thinking about it.
so anyway...its like 20 days to disney or something and i want to get out so badly. aghhhh so bad. SO BADDD!
i really have nothing to say but babble, and i have nothing to do either. i have a whole hitory report to do but OHYA! i gave up on school so that can wait. i want to go to bed but its not even 7 yet. grarararar my comptuer still doesnt work and they keep putting it off and off and off and im going to beat someone with a heavy blunt object soon.
it was halloween yesterday....
everyone seemed to be mad at me for not wanting to go trick or treating...but whats new?
AULWEYWIUEASDASRERTFHFDSBFB i have all these things to say yet when i go to type them they dont come out. grrr.
ok well im just going to bed now...the only thing i ever do now...
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[27 Oct 2004|08:59pm] |
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ditz ditz DITZY...wtf? |
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alkaline trio- armagedon |
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25days baby! 25 days until im away from this hell for a week in disney world :) i love disney world. i really do. maybe cuz i just love disney so much. one day me and my litle couisns get to eat breakfast witht he pricnesses in the big castle. man...i remeber going there for the first time when i was like 6 and it was like a dream come true, everyone was so happy, there were the disney charatetrs and for all i knew they were real, there was so much to do it was like a fantsay land, it still is. :) :) so im excited and maybe if im that lucky ill meet some guys :) you never know....my mom said me and ryan can wonder off at night as we please OH PLEASE LET THERE BE HO GUYS! that would jsut be grand.
anyway....EEEEEK I GOT 3 SHOTS TODAY! i hate the doctor. i went in for my phyiscal or w/e and im like oooo do i get any shots and the nurse is like YEP! and i was like oh....damn i was kidding. shes like oh yea you get tetnis the finger pirck and some thing wehre they like make a bubble in ur skin. i was like GAHHH! it hurt so frickin bad! i was like YOU JSUT STUCK A KNIFE IN MY FINGER! my mom was laughing at me cuz i was making weird noises and when she gave me the tetis one i was like I WAS PUNCHED IN THE ARM!!!and my muscle like spazzed out. it was an experience...but i have 3 COUNT EM' 3! SNOOPY BANDAIDS IM TOO COOL FOR WORDS!
im kinda mad now. my comp never works so i hafta use the upstiarrs one and since we got it fixed its like securtiy central. you cant like download anyhting from my name or w/e and you cant even go on AIM express cuz it thinks its a pop up and when you add it to he list it still doesnt work. rarararar and my mom undownloaded AIM so now i cant go on and i only have an hour for AOL cuz its our old time limit and i dont have very much of my buddy list on there and RARARARARARAR it just makes me angered. so i made a windows messgenr name and then realized no one has it...but oh well my comptuer should be fixxed soon...i hope
 ahhhh le beach. haha this is some pic low pant took. (evil person!) but its good. i started a count down to the beach :) i know im pathetic no need to tell me. i think it like 280 or something....who knows.
YAY RED SOX! JOHNNY DAMON IS MY HERO (ALTHOUGH HE MAY BE INCOSISITENT) FLIPIN RIGHT DOGGIE! FIRST PERSON UP...HOME RUN BABY!
people change....and i hate it. well i guess i cant really hate it cuz tehr comes a time when eveyrone changes, but i find it great how one minute someone can be ur best firne dand the nex tthey wont even say hi to you....really great....
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[23 Oct 2004|03:33pm] |
i am so tempted to delete my last entry so so so tempted, cuz its so stupid, no one really cares about whats going on with me, so i wanna delete it badly cuz i feel lame but i wont.
but the thing is..i feel better after writing it so i dn...
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[23 Oct 2004|02:29pm] |
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the academy is... |
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ok screw the friends only-ness of my journal...the people on my friends list are the onyl ones who read it anyway.
the academy is... = good band just to let you all know
I WANT TO GO TO THE MALL SO FLIPPIN BADLY! but everyone is at homecomming...and im here....being anti-socail and alone...and i hate it
i cant stand who i am. i came to a realization yesterday....i can be 2 totally differnt people sometimes. and not like 2 faced where i say i like you and go behind you back and tell everyone i hate you, but i mean like at home vs. at school.
at school im always happy, or atleast i try my hardest to be. i try to act like my life is fine and that everything is ok so no one has to worry about me. i try to be myself, or atleast try my hardeest. but when i get home its totally differnt. i dont care how i come off to my family and i get so upset so easily. my mom is always yellign at me for not doing something right, ryan is always hitting me and telling me to fuck off, tyler...is just plain annoying, and i cry almost instantly. it seems like more and more the first thing i do is go home nad lock myself in my room and blast my music and attepmt to drown out everything else. and i dont know what is wrong wiht me cuz i will randomyl get upset and start crying. my mom will yell at me so i go down stiars...upset about what just happened...but somehow after one thing happens i think about everything else adn get even more upset. i dont know wehre im goign wiht this....and i dont even know if im making sense, but i find that more and more everday i hate myself. i think im so stupid for getting upset so easily and stupid for being sad cuz i have no reeason to be. so many people have it so much worse than i do. but i always feel so alone. all the time. and i know that i have plenty of friends and people that would listen to me if i had to tell them something, but i cant. people ask whats wrong and i just say nothing. its not that i dont trust them, i dont know what it is, i can never tell anyone anything, and that doesnt do anyhting but make me feel more lonly. you can have all the friends in the world and still be lonely.
i fucking hate fighting. i hate divorce. i hate living in 2 differnt house.i hate having 2 seperate families. i hate how no one can ever get along. HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT. i know alot of people today get divorecd so maybe im being stupid again, but i really fucking hate it. there will always be that part of me that thinks its my fault. and i cant help it. and i know it probably wasnt my fault, but i wont let it go. i cant.
this is probably the most honest entry ive ever writtne, and im sure ill come back later and read ti and delete is cuz i think its lame but oh well...
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[21 Oct 2004|05:40pm] |
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 look at me im AMUSED |
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northstar-my wishing well disease |
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ok screw the friend's-only-ness for this entry.
I WENT TO KATII LAST NGITH! oh boy, i love how we can do absoultely nothing and still laugh the whole time. we were tyring to do homework...but i didnt get much done. i was in one of those moods where i just cant work and i dont want to and its bad. so finally katii took picutres of my and said i couldnt see them till i got 7-11 sentances...so i ddi!!! in 3 hours of work i got 8 sentances! GO ME!
this is what happens when i dont want to work...
 hahahha GO SMART GLASSES!!!!! i look so horrid its not even funny
oh ya....WE WON ARE VOLLEYBALL GAME! THATS RIGHT BIOTCH
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[18 Oct 2004|08:57pm] |
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[18 Oct 2004|08:54pm] |
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i would jsut like to let you all know im making it friends only...maybe it will motivate me more to tell how i really feel and not delete my stupid entries
I MADE THE BANNER MYSELF THANK YOU VERY MUCH! <3 fall out boy GAHHH\
i just thought it was a cool picture so i attempted to write on it
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[18 Oct 2004|01:37am] |
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MY GOODIES MY GOODIESHJKASJDHFKJASHDFKAJFSHKSJ |
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wow good times today
i woke up and sat around for a while then i went and got my haircut. that wwas fun stuff i like what i did to it ill post some pics later maybe? but you all will have seen it by then so maybe not.
after that me ally and morgan went UNDERWEAR SHOPPING! man that waS fun. SO EXCITIING!!! lol. and we walked around and had pizza and saw a scary guy collecting cans.
then we went and picked laruen up and went to mr ahs. i wont even go inot that because i wanted joel to win so badl but noooooooo noooooooooooo ofcourse not! nate won but thats good cuz i wanted him too, he dressed like a girl teehehe
theeeeeeeeeeeeeen, after that we came back to A.T.'s and i totally spazzed out. to the millionth power. we ate ice cream and i kept puttin all over my face and doing werid stuff.
morgan: ALLY ARE YOU RACIST! I GOT THE ONLY WHITE BOWL! hahahahahahahahahahahaha that was so great
then we watched degrassi and the baseball game and stuff, now we're justin hangggggin out.
oh anothr great quote from morgan...
morgan: allly, why is your hair in my underwear????
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH wow maybe you had to be there, but it was the greatest
EEEEEE TOOO MUCCCCCCH CANNNNDY AND ICE CREAM AND PIZZA AT 11 AT NIGHT WEEEEOOOOWEEEEOOOO
oh yea then ally made a huuuuuuuge dent in her wall by chucking a brush at morgan and missing....yea....shes a real smart one
ok thats all for now ill stop there. it was seriously halarious tho. OH ME AND MORGAN HAVE A NEW GAME TOO!but youd prolly think we're really weird if i told you so ill keep it a secert MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHH
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[15 Oct 2004|09:11pm] |
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i really dont know how i feel |
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fall out boy- nobody puts baby in the corner |
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spending a friday night alone by myself....my favotie thing to do!
i doubt any one really reads this anyway, so im jsut going to talk, its for me anyway right? ok.
people can be such phonies. ahhaha i sound like holden, hes like taken over my mind since we hafta discuss the book like every freaking day but its ok. seriously though. its werid beacuse everyone just seems so fake. and im not going to go into the cliche where i talk about how everyone in avon is so fake, becuz yea yea most of them are. but so is everyone else. its not avon that makes them fake. its jsut like one mintue someone can be your best friend, and the next you might as well be dead to them. its jsut weird how poeple are so 2 faced. but maybe i shouldnt be one to talk, maybe im jsut as fake as the rest of them seem. its jsut so confusing. i just dont understand anymore.
look at me, you can tell.
By the way I move into my head.
Do you think that it's me?
Or it's not me I don't even care.
I'm alive.i dont smell
I swear I'm the cleanest I have ever been.
i feel big, i feel tall,i feel dry.
Just look at me. Look at me now.
just a few used lyrics for you. im in a lyric-y mood.
so lets see what ive done on my wodnerful rainy saturday night. afterschool our game was cancelled so i went to morgans casa with ally for a while. that was chill. then morgan was goin to the kanye and usher concert, i hope she ahs fun! and i learned ally hates feet. haahahah that was halarious, she will never live it down. then i came home and ate, katii came over for a little while. i never see her anymore, its so werid. like my sister or something that just like went off to collge...only she still lives right up the street. so i walked her home in the rain and after i deicded i didnt wanna go home so i walked down the street a ways, not realy going anywhere in particular. once i was about half way around the block i went back since my shoes were throughly soaked. now im home. i tired watching a movie but i jsut fell asleep. now im thinking im gunna go to bed, what else is there to do? not much.
oh and dont think im super depressed or anything by reading this. im not. or atleast not that i am aware of. im just rambiling on, letting out some of my teenage angst. ksdfsdjhfiuscksjbjhbdviusyerkjsehfmns.
dont worry about me
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[14 Oct 2004|06:11pm] |
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fall out boy- that chirstmas song i dn wat its called |
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i dont even know what to say anymore...i wouldnt know where to start...
the only thing i know for sure is that patrick from fall out boy's voice is freakin orgasmic! im sorry maybe that is taking it a tad bit too far but seriously. i do love them so so so much and his voice just makes it. the way they harmonize and he does his little solos GAHHHHH SOOOO SEXY TO THE ULTIMATE POWER. i just love it. it makes me so happy to hear it. :)
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[13 Oct 2004|04:42pm] |
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 cold like WOAH |
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MCR-im not ok(trust me) |
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My heart ticks in beat with these kids that I grew up with.
living like life's going out of style.
You came to watch us play...like a "Big shot talent,"
but at the end of the day you know where we come from
and where we call home
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[09 Oct 2004|09:04pm] |
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i love you guys |
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katiis reggae music that was like "sex sex sex" |
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who has the best friends in the world? that would be me!
yea thats righti totally have the best friends ever! this birtdya wil be the bestest ever ever ever! ok so here the story...
i was at my dads and he was like ok we're gunna go get you some shoes as part of your present ad then go out to dinner. so i was like ok score new shoes and good dinner. so we got the shoes adn all and then we were driving to bertuccis and my dad is like oh we hafta stop and pick up tylers helmet at ur moms house and i was like WHY DO WE HAFTA SO IT BEFORE DINNER! WHY NOT AFTER! and i was like GRRRR and he called my mom and was like ok we''re comming now, steph willl go in and get it and i was like NO TYLER CAN GET HIS OWN STUPID HELMET!so then we go tthere and i saw amandas moms car and i was like ummmm thats werid. so i ran inside to c if her rents were there. and i wasled up staris and there was like steamers and crap and i aws like oh hmmm maybe im not supposed to see hthis until tomrrow and then all of a sudden katii,anna,mere,elise, amanda,lindsey,morgan,and katherine pop out and i was like OMG. it was the greatest thing ever. and eventually lizz and evan came to. it waws the coolest thing ever. we jsut hung out and listned to music and danced and ate alot of food, the best surprise party ever. i pout all my new clothes on at once :) i looked too cool for school. and ofcourse i wore my crown all night!
so there is a very very brief note on my surpirse party. one word to describe it...rad
and tomrrow i get to get more presnts from my dad and then monday i get them from my mom....boy doi love birthdays, and its not even my brithday yet, still 2 days. i decided im making the same wish on all my cakes, and no im not going to tell you becuase i REALLY REALLY REALLY want it to come true. REALLY BAD!
so now im tired and me and my ugly doll wage need our beauty sleep. (THANK YOU MERE HE'S THE COOLEST EVER!) goodnight loves
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[04 Oct 2004|09:02pm] |
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 look at me i ate too much! HA |
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senses fail- cute when you scream |
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we won our volleyball game biotches! muahahah
 oh look a lovely random picutre of my room whooooopie i love my room!
 skanking anyone? hahahah good times
theres jsut a few random picutres for you im freezing and i miss a certain person alot right now so im going to take a shower CUZ ALL THE COOL KDIS ARE DOING IT!
"you can be my james dean, ill be your sweet queen"
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[03 Oct 2004|08:39pm] |
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bounce bounce bounce |
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jack johnson-FLAKE |
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MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 7 DAYS! YAY! I DONT HAVE SCHOOL ON MY BIRTHDAY, ON MY BIRTHDAY TERE IS NO SCHOOL! hahah wow that was halarious...sry i annoyed you with it katii.
hmmmmm this weekend was badass. i went to KATLYNS!!! with elise and we skated, why did we skate? oh yea thats right I GOT A BOARD!!!!!!! from her as my b-day present. im gunna b a pro like luca! teehehe...or not. and then i slept over and stuff and then i went to amandas and we went to evans! and watched the girl next door whihc was a terrible horrible movie and hmmm she slept over and we watche aladdian this morning and then i went to some stupid church retreat (that was so bad!) and then i went to katiis for dinnnna and now im home doing nothing.
that is a quick summary of my weekend. intersting I KNOW!
i hafta miss my v-ball game tomrrow cuz i gotta go to the damn orthodonsit RRRRRRR that makes me angry but good luck girls!
im sitting under falling stars, do you miss me where you are?
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[28 Sep 2004|07:21pm] |
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a rough sketch |
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here we lay again
on two separate beds
riding phone lines
to hear that familiar voice
and pictures brought from memory
we reflect on miscomunication
and misunderstandings
and missing each other two
much too without you, let go
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[26 Sep 2004|12:54pm] |
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rancid-old friend |
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AND OUT COME THE WOLVES! OUT COME THE WOLVES! THEIR PAWS TRAMPING ON THE SNOW...hahahah wow im a loser. by the way thats a song by rancid that is on now haha.
MY BRITHDAY IS IN 15 DAYS!!! HELL YEA BITACHES! :) teehehehe
so lets see....friday night was katiis party, oh man good times. there is never a boring party at katiis house. i met her friends from loomis illiana and marissa they were both really cool!they we're prolly really scared of us tho. ANNA PISSED ON THE FLOOR EVRYONE! and i know what your thinking, she was drunk out of her mind, but no! she was totally sober...atleast that what we all think.....maybe not...haha just kidding. but wow i sstill havent gotten over that...and i have her bra hostage! muahahaha you will never get it back!...or ill give it back on monday but same thing!
yesterday i went apple picking witht he fam and jen. wow that was unique. but it was awesome cuz WE GOT TO GO ON A HAY RIDE!!! YAY!!! and i ate an apple but it was really icky so i threw it at tylers head instead :) then i came home and did nothing and went to bed really early because i was really really tired.
today im goin to the pasta party at kelseys for v-ball it should be fun! and it means alot of food :) :) hehe food is fun.
TIME FOR ME TO GO SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWER YIPPIE! the end!
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[23 Sep 2004|08:06pm] |
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the song im listnin 2 now...dn wat it is tho |
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hmmmmm...im just realizing how incredibly stupid these things are and how badly that i wish i was at th beach right now. RAR. everything is always so repetitive....everyday is the same and it never changes. fall out of bed, go to school, go to volleyball, come home and do hw till 1am....what an exciting day/ even the weekends dont seem as fun ne more...RAR. im just tired of it times 10.
oh well enough of me complainging I WAS A CONSTRUCTION WORKER TODAY OHHHHH YEAAAAA. i had my plastic hammer and everything! teehehehe wow i felt way too cool today...
tomrrow im going to katiiiiiiis yay! i hope its fun a bunch-o people are going...all girls....yay girls night! and and and her new friends from looomis are gunna bthere so i get to meet them and hang with everyoen and ahhhhhh it shall b fun.
DOOOO DOOO DOOOOOOOO DOOO DOO DOOOO DOOO DOOO DOOO...meh
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[20 Sep 2004|07:04pm] |
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YAY RANDOM LYRICS TIME!!! yay!!! im in such a mean mood i dont know what my problem is haha morgan you know what im talking about...its so strange.... but ne way RANDOM LYRICS! im gunna type in the first band i think of and then pick a random song of theirs and give u the lyrics WHAT FUN!
HOOTIE AND THE BLOWFISH!
Gravity Of The Situation Lyrics
We blew past the army motorcade
and it's abnormal load haulage
The gravity of the situation
came on us like a bit of new knowledge
The bubbliest bubble bath
broke down on the bank
The gravity of the situation
is why our old thought bubbles sank
humble and gracious
The gravity of the situation
a fat hungry English crow
picking at a badger carcass
The gravity of the situation
is hard to focus and harness
We met Bill Lowery
at the Queen's Hall
The gravity of the situation
became apparent to us all
where the hell i pulledf that band name out of i dont know vut iwas listening to their cd last night cuz my mom has like every one of them....some good jam band stuff MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHi am so bored right now and i sont wanna do my history essay but i ahfta cuz we hve a asta party tomrrow RARARARARARARARAR
"she needs to fall of the face of the earthe ith ehr god damn faces"
MUAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAAHHA
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[18 Sep 2004|10:33am] |
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fall out oby - pretty in punk |
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EEEEAHhhhhhhh last night was sooo much fun. WE ARE DOING IT AGAIN VERY SOON BECUZ I MISSED YOU ALL TOO MUCH! even tho the car ride took like an extra hour and a half from getting lost haha katiis it was mad cool. i wont do the pla by play thign or nething cuz that just gets old and boring. but lets just say i broke my arm,, there was lots of water, and i laughed wayyyy too much and it was just FREAKIN GREAT ahah wow that didnt sound too great oooooh well.
so now today i woke up like a bajillion times and kept going back to sleep until 10 cuz i didnt wanna get up and clean and it was rainy so it was all dark in my room and i hate waking up to that. since its raining our bbq thing hasta be inside :( which means exttra cleaning :( but ooooooooooooooh well...
HEY GUYS YOULL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT IM LISTENING TO! FALL OUT BOY! *GASP* what a shocker!
anna your my designated show buddie so we gotta go to atleast some of the million that aer commin in november! YAY
i dont feeel like making this a long and in depth entry so ill end it with ....MAAAAIL TIME MAAAAIL TIME MAAAAAAAAAAIL TIME HERES THE MAIL IT NEVER FAILS IT MAKES ME WANT TO WAG MY TAIL WHEN IT COMES I WANNA WAIL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIL
muahahahahah
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anothrbeatnsoul's journal